Blockers Review: Would You Buttchug for Your Daughter?

I spent my prom night watching the Bryan Cranston Godzilla movie, my parents weren’t worried.

But John Cena, Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholtz are extremely worried after finding out their innocent little girls plan to lose their virginity on their senior prom night. This being a studio comedy with those three actors and that plot, of course these parents are going to act unlike any human being you have ever met. Realistic? No. Fun? Absolutely.

I can watch John Cena buttchug a 40 with the support of Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholtz any day of the week. And you know Cena is going to get scared and have that 40 come flying back out. And you know it’s going to hit someone in the face. And you know this movie has an 11/10 rating below.

No matter how ridiculous the situation was, nothing stopped me from having a good time. Cena, Mann and Barinholtz are a force to be reckoned with and the trio of girls, played by Kathryn Newton, Geraldine Viswanathan and Gideon Adlon, do more than hold their own during their scenes. Great chemistry all around with director Kay Cannon, the screenwriter of the Pitch Perfect movies who is making her directorial debut here. Another force to be reckoned with.

There’s nothing worth shouting about here. Some jokes elicited dead silence from the crowd. Even the young child someone brought to the advance screening of the R-rated buttchugging sex comedy didn’t make a noise. Also, this movie might hold the record for “not enough screentime for Hannibal Buress”, which is becoming a very competitive category these days.

But again, John Cena buttchugs so he can get into a teenager’s house so he can stop his daughter from losing her virginity to a guy named Chad. Are you in or not?

Oh wait, I think John Cena’s daughter was going after someone else. I looked it up his name is Connor. Yeah, Connor sounds okay but if I found out my daughter is losing her virginity to a “Chad”, you bet your ass my ass will be filled with beer.