Machete Kills is a pretty tough movie to screw up. As long as you have over the top action and Riddick-esque dialogue, then the movie will be phenomenal. And even though Machete Kills has that in spades, the movie is severely bogged down by boring dialogue meant to push the plot forward. Fans of the original should wait for a rental as Machete Kills isn’t a movie worth paying $10 to see in theaters.
Machete Kills stars Danny Trejo as Machete, who is recruited by the president (Carlos Estevez) to stop a missile which is aimed at Washington D.C.
A plot as simple as that doesn’t need the 45+ minutes of dialogue it got, especially since that dialogue wasn’t interesting or funny. It’s not that it was even supposed to be funny, the writer of the film, Kyle Ward, put in so much of this “real” dialogue that was meant to push this plot forward when it should’ve been a joke.
That’s the biggest gripe anybody will have towards Machete Kills. It should’ve been more of the joke that the first film was. The original Machete, while it had some of this “real” dialogue, had a nice blend of it with the goofy mexploitation stuff. Plus, the goofy mexploitation stuff is less fun this time around. Sofia Vergara’s gatling gun bra and Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen’s presence were great and all but they were severely underused and replaced with more of this boring dialogue.
Machete Kills isn’t all bad though. The action scenes and performances were great fun and some of the dialogue was hilarious, but it’s a shame that all I remember about Machete Kills is that I don’t remember anything at all thanks to the forgettable dialogue (don’t think about that sentence too hard).
THE VERDICT
Machete Kills is a movie to skip. It’s mostly boring and forgettable with not a whole lot of what made the first film great. Fans of the first should give this one a rental (as they’ll need to know what happens before they see Machete Kills Again which looks phenomenal) but shouldn’t fork over $10 to see it in theaters.
For reviews and more from me, Petey Oneto, you can check out my blog but be sure to check back to Resident Entertainment for more of my posts in the future.
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